What I Meant to Say
by svgurl410
Summary: Discontinued; Chlark & Lollie Chloe's near death causes Clark to reevaluate his feelings for his best friend. And he comes to some stunning conclusions. Set during my version of the first episode of season 7.
1. Chapter 1

This is my newest fic! I know, it's a story from me that's not a Clark/Oliver. But I hope you like it anyway:)**  
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**Story: **What I Meant to Say  
**Pairing/Characters: **Chlark, Lollie mentions of past Chlimmy & Clana  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Disclaimer: **don't own anything  
**Warnings: **none  
**Spoilers: **season 7  
**Summary: **Chloe's near death causes Clark to re-evaluate his feelings for his best friend. And he comes to some stunning conclusions.

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**Chapter 1**

"So this is where you live," Kara commented as they arrived at the farm. "Not what I imagined. Then again, you aren't what I imagined either."

"Why do you say that?" Clark asked his newfound cousin. He still couldn't believe that he had a biological relative and a part of him was a little giddy, even though he didn't show it.

He was surprised to say that least when, during his journey to defeat the Phantom, he discovered he had family. Kara Zor-El had appeared out of nowhere and saved him from a sticky situation with the Phantom. Clark had insisted that J'onn leave the planet to heal and assured him that he could avoid the Phantom until then.

Unfortunately, Bizarro, as he aptly named his doppelganger, found him first. There was a very violent confrontation and just when he thought it was over for him, Kara had showed up and saved him.

_Clark tried his best to hold on, even though he knew was fighting a losing battle. His look-a-like was a lot more powerful than him and he was still yet to discover a weakness. Part of him wished he hadn't told J'onn to leave but then again, the Martian was already injured. The last thing he wanted was for something to happen to him but right now, he could use some backup. _

"_Give up," his twin sneered. "You can't defeat me." _

_Suddenly, Bizarro was thrown on the ground. _

"_Maybe he can't," a voice came from his right, "But I can." He looked to his side and saw a beautiful blonde woman with bright blue eyes staring angrily at his twin. _

_In a flash, the woman was by his side. "Come on, let's get out of here." _

_He didn't argue. Bizarro was down for the moment and he followed the woman out. When they were a safe distance away, he examined her. Who was she? How was she so strong and why did she choose to save him?_

"_Who are you?" he asked. _

"_That is none of your concern," she replied. _

_But Clark wasn't backing down. "Why did you save me?" _

"_Would you have rather died?" she questioned. _

"_No, but I want to know why you protected me," Clark said. "Or do you go around randomly saving strangers?" _

"_How about you explain to me why you were fighting a man who looks exactly like you?" she shot back, leaving his question unanswered. _

"_He looks like me because he is a Phantom who tried to possess me but ended up taking a part of me instead," Clark revealed. He didn't know why he decided to tell her this but something in him told him she was trustworthy. _

_The woman froze at his words. "Phantom?" she repeated in a soft voice. _

"_An alien," he said, "Not only just an alien, but a criminal, who escaped . .."_

"_From the Phantom Zone," she finished, a dazed look on her face. "I heard about that . . . that the criminals escaped." _

"_I'm afraid that was my fault," Clark confessed. _

"_But how?" she demanded, "Jor-El made it so that it was impossible to escape!" _

_Clark's eyes narrowed. "How do you know Jor-El?" _

"_You know Jor-El?" the woman asked, also looking suspicious. _

_Now he was certain this woman was not human. She was probably Kryptonian as well, he realized with a start. _

"_He's my father," Clark said slowly, "Or at least he was. He sent me to this planet when Krypton was destroyed." _

_The woman let out a gasp and she came closer to him. "Kal-El?" _

"_Yeah," Clark said cautiously, "Now who are you?" _

"_I can't believe it's you!" she exclaimed, "I've looked for you for so long." She smiled warmly. "My name is Kara Zor-El . . . Jor-El was my father's brother. And you are my cousin." _

At first, Clark had been skeptical of what she was saying. After all, it was only a few years ago that some woman had claimed to be Kara but it turned out that she was just a pawn for Jor-El, who was trying to lure him into his training. So it was natural that he had his doubts.

But he had brought her to the Fortress and Jor-El confirmed who she was. When she spoke to him in fluent Kryptonian, all doubts he had were instantly removed. J'onn returned shortly after and he too verified her identity.

The three of them, along with Jor-El's help, found out that Bizarro did have a weakness- blue kryptonite. Just as green kryptonite strengthened the Phantom, blue was good for both him and Kara. Never did he think he would find a good type of kryptonite but it seemed that one did indeed exist. At least not all the shards of his home planet were bad for him.

Together they set up a trap for Bizarro and as expected, he fell for their plot. They managed to get him a position where Clark could use the blue kryptonite. It worked and he was gone.

J'onn had left and Clark had brought Kara back to the farm. Which brought them to their current situation. After Bizarro had followed Clark from the Reeves Dam, he had returned to see Lionel being put on a stretcher. The hospital didn't let him know anything because he wasn't family but by listening in one a few conversations, he learned Lionel would be okay.

He also found out that Lex had been arrested for Lana's murder. _Good, _he had thought, _he's behind bars, where he belongs. _How long he would stay there, he wasn't sure but this was something.

"Kal-El?" Kara's voice brought him back to reality. He glanced at her. "Are you listening to me?"

"No," he admitted, "Sorry . . . I got a little lost in my thoughts. What were you saying?"

She laughed. "It's fine. I was answering your question."

"Go ahead," he said, "if you don't mind repeating what you said?"

"Not a problem," she replied, "It's just . . . I was in stasis, as you know." He did know; she had informed him. That was why she hadn't aged for 20 years. "I didn't realize that you had made it to Earth so I was expecting a small baby."

"Really?" Clark asked.

"I checked the hospitals first," Kara said.

"But how did you find me?" Clark asked. "To save me from the Phantom, I mean?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Kara said, "I just went there on instinct."

"Well it all worked out in the end then," Clark said.

"How are your parents?" Kara asked suddenly, "Jor-El told me a little about the family he planned to send you to."

"They treated me well," Clark said, with a smile. "My father has been dead for almost two years now and my mom just moved to Washington D.C. but they were great. I had a really good childhood."

"I'm glad," Kara said. "Do many people know you as Kal-El? And about your abilities?" Kara already found out about her powers, fueled by the yellow sun. In fact, she had taken to her powers quickly and even learned to fly.

Clark preferred the ground but she was stubborn in him mastering the sky. When he realized she wasn't going to quit, he allowed her to teach him to fly. Once he was in the air, he found it was a great feeling. All his previous fears vanished and now, flying came as easily as his superspeed or any of his other abilities.

Remembering she asked him a question, he shook his head. "Nobody knows. Other than my parents that is. And a few choice people. But the majority doesn't know. To everyone else, my name is Clark Kent and you have to call me Clark when we're around other people."

"Why all the secrecy?" Kara wanted to know.

"Humans won't exactly be receptive to our origins," Clark said, choosing his words carefully. "They'll want to experiment on us and learn about our abilities in a way that will not be pleasant to us. It is imperative that they don't find out. So please, be careful."

"I will," she promised.

"You can stay with me on the farm," Clark decided aloud. "You can keep your name but we'll say that you're a Kent . . . from my father's side of the family. We can deal with paperwork and everything later." He made a mental note to call Oliver and ask for a favor. The blonde, he knew, would be more than willing to help.

"Sounds good to me," Kara responded cheerfully. She was about to say more when they heard a car pull up. Clark was surprised to see Lois step out of the vehicle. He was even more surprised to see the state she was in.

Clearly she had been crying, her eyes were red and her cheeks were flushed.

"Lois," he said, stepping towards her. "Are you okay?"

"I've been trying to call you, Clark," she said.

Something was wrong. Not only did Lois look like a mess, she was calling him Clark. She _never _called him Clark. It was always "Smallville this" and "Smallville that".

"I don't know, I think I lost my phone," Clark said. "What's up?"

Tears filled her eyes again and she threw herself in his arms. Also a move very unlike Lois.

"Lois, tell me what's wrong," Clark demanded, now afraid. "Where's Chloe?"

She pulled away slightly. "Oh Clark . . . it's about Chloe."

"Is she okay?" he asked, dread filling her stomach. Seeing Lois's expression, his heart stopped. "Lois . . . please."

"She's dead," Lois said, her voice barely a whisper.

"No." It wasn't possible. There was no way Chloe could be dead.

"It's true," Lois said, tears streaming down her face. "Clark . . . she's gone."

"She can't be gone," Clark said. The pain he was feeling was overwhelming." One look into Lois's eyes and he knew she wasn't lying. "How?"

"I am not sure," Lois said. "I went to see what Lex was up to and I ended up at the Reeves Dam. Unfortunately, I ran into a security guard and I ended up getting stabbed."

"If you got stabbed, how are you still here?" Clark interrupted. He was relieved that Lois was alive but he needed to know how.

"I am not sure!" Lois said, her eyes wild, "I passed out and I woke up, and there was no sign of the wound. And Chloe . . ."

"What about Chloe?" Clark interjected, "Lois, what happened to her?"

"She was just lying there," Lois recalled. "I called 911 but it was too late. I don't even know how she found me . . ." Lois may be confused but Clark's throat tightened . . . he knew exactly what had happened.

_There's a reason they took me," Chloe said worriedly. "And we both know it's not because I was a witness. Tobias didn't identify you, Clark, because you're not a meteor freak. It was me."_

_It made sense but Clark didn't want to admit it. Not Chloe, not his best friend. So many people's lives had been ruined because of his arrival on Earth but he wouldn't be able to take it if Chloe had been one of them. _

"_Chloe, it must have been a mistake," Clark argued. _

"_How do you know that?" Chloe demanded. "I mean, I've been exposed to more Kryptonite than practically anyone else in this town. It's not that much of a stretch to think that I could have been infected somewhere along the way."_

"_But you don't have any powers," Clark pointed out. He paused and looked at her closely. "Do you?" She would've told him if she developed any abilities, right? _

"_No," Chloe admitted but she continued quickly, "But that doesn't rule me out. There's a percentage of the Wall of Weird that were latent for years. They didn't exhibit any of their powers until long after their exposure." _

_Seeing she wasn't giving this idea up, he sighed. "Okay. All right, let's say it's true. But who's to say you're ever going to develop any powers at all?"_

"_All I know is that every single meteor freak I've ever run into has ended up either dead or in Belle Reve," Chloe said. "Face it, Clark. I'm a walking time bomb." He saw the panic on her face right after she made the statement. _

_Clark put his hand on her arm. "Then consider me your own personal bomb squad." _

_Oh, Chloe, you were right. _Clark had been so in denial and it turned out his best friend's worst fears had come true. Chloe had powers and it apparently was some healing ability. She had saved Lois . . . and given up her life in the process.

He observed the frantic brunette in front of him. Clark wished he could blame her, stir up some resentment at least. If Lois hadn't gone looking for trouble, then Chloe wouldn't have gone after her. She'd be here, giving him that cute little smile that made him feel like the most important person in the world.

Chloe had always thought of him as her hero . . . but where was he when she needed saving? Truth was he couldn't be mad at Lois. Not when she was just as miserable or even more so, than him. Chloe had been her only true family and now she was gone.

The real person he was furious with was himself. He had _promised _Chloe he'd be there and when she needed him the most, he was somewhere else. Tears prickled at the back of his eyes but he blinked them away.

Lois was saying something but he couldn't bring himself to pay attention. His heart was shattering and it was taking all of his willpower not to break down. _Dear God, why? Why did you have to take her? Why my Chloe? _Didn't anyone realize that he couldn't live without her? She was dead and all he wanted to do was follow her. Life without Chloe was not one worth living.

Lionel had told him that Lana was dead and he thought he was hurting then. The pain and anguish he felt then was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. Something inside of him died when Lois said those fateful words.

_He loved her. _Why didn't he see it before? So much time he had wasted pining over Lana that he didn't realize his true soul mate was by his side the entire time.

_Um . . .," Clark stuttered. "Chloe . . . before I left . . . there was this moment that we, um . . ." What was wrong with him? He just defeated a super powered alien bent upon destroying the world and he couldn't even bring up the kiss that he and Chloe had shared before he ran off. _

_Fortunately, Chloe was much more upfront about these kinds of things. _

"_You mean when I laid one on you?" Chloe finished, with a smile. "Don't worry, Clark. It was the end of the world. It's not like I'm expecting us to hook up." _

_Disappointment filled his entire being. But he gave her a smile, hiding his true feelings. _

"_Um . . . yeah, me . . . me neither," he agreed. _

_That was when Jimmy had showed up. _

Clark inwardly cringed at the memory. Why hadn't he spoken from his heart? Why couldn't have he just said that the memory of her kiss had kept him going? That coming back to her gave him motivation to fight?

No, he had to be a coward and just go with her answer. Too afraid of losing her friendship, too afraid of breaking her heart again. Yet, at the same time, so jealous of Jimmy, even without knowing where their relationship stood at that point.

Why was he so _stupid_? How many times had he hurt her? She was the one who loved him unconditionally, been there every step, through all the bad times and the good. It was her who had protected his secret for the past 2 years and every time he had a problem, it was her who held his hand, who helped him defeated that Zoner or the latest meteor freak.

But it was him who rejected her on every turn, who accused her on several occasions of betraying him. It was him who had turned away from her in favor of Lana throughout most of their friendship and he was the one that broke her heart. Memories flashed in front of him of all the times he had hurt her, both intentionally and unintentionally.

He had never approved of Jimmy and now he was finally able to accept the real reason why Chloe's boyfriend had always gotten on his nerves. Jimmy worshipped her, adored her and loved her the way she deserved to be treated . . . the way Clark never did. That was why Jimmy had been so weary of him; he understood the feelings that Clark himself had not accepted.

Now he had lost the one thing he never knew he wanted.


	2. Chapter 2

The second chapter is here! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first one. I'm sorry that at first you thought it was a one-shot, that was an accident. :D hope you like this part too. let me know!

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**Chapter 2**

_Nothing you can do about it now. _Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kara watching him, concern evident in her expression. He tried to focus on Lois's words.

"They already took her body to the morgue," she was saying.

"Wait a second," Clark said, "Already?"

Lois nodded. His precious Chloe in some drawer, treated just like some other dead body . . . the idea made him sick to his stomach.

"That's where they keep them, Clark," she said, "Until the funeral . . ."

No, he didn't want to think of the funeral. He couldn't . . . they had buried Chloe once and this time, she was actually dead. There would be no miracles, no finding empty coffins. This time, the coffin would have a body as it was lowered into the ground, the body of his best friend in the entire world, the body of the woman who possessed his heart and soul but never knew it.

She was too young to die. Chloe had all these great plans and she was meant for so much more. She was going to be this great journalist and win many Pulitzer Prizes . . . maybe write a book or two. And he was going to be there, by her side, supporting her in whatever she did. Now, none of that was possible anymore.

"I have to get going," Lois said.

He immediately snapped out of his thoughts. "Are you going to be okay? Driving, I mean?"

"I'll be fine," she said and gave him a weak smile. "Or at least as fine as I'll ever be. Don't do anything stupid, okay Clark? If . . . if you need to talk, I'm here to listen. You know that, right?"

He did. Because despite all their argument, he knew Lois cared for him. "I hope you know that it goes both ways. Don't bottle up your emotions, Lois . . . not this time."

"I'll try not to," she said. "Bye Smallville." The nickname comforted him.

"Bye Lois," he murmured as he watched her drive away.

"Kal-El?" a voice said softly. He looked at Kara. "Are you all right?"

"No, I'm not," he said honestly.

"Chloe . . . the girl who died," Kara said softly, "She is your . . . significant other?"

"I wish," he muttered. Seeing Kara's quizzical expression, he shook his head. "No, she was my friend, my best friend."

"You loved her," Kara stated. Before he could reply, she added, "Not in a platonic way, either. You were in love with her."

"How do you know?" Clark asked. She had barely met him yet she could already read his emotions like a book.

"The look in your eyes when you said her name . . . that was the way my father used to look at my mother," Kara replied. "The way Jor-El used to look at Lara."

"My parents, were they happy?" Clark asked hesitatingly.

"Very happy," Kara assured him. "Your father loved your mother . . . I was at their wedding. She loved him with all her heart . . . you just had to be near them to feel the love they had for each other." She paused. "And they loved you too. I remember when you were born . . . they were beyond elated."

It was a relief to hear that his parents had been truly in love. He had no idea how marriages worked on Krypton but to know that both of his parents cared for one another gave him great joy.

"Chloe didn't know I loved her," Clark said sadly. "I never told her, I never even realized it until now and it's too late. She's gone."

"Kal-El, as long as you keep a spot for in your heart," Kara said, "She'll never be truly gone."

"I wish I could believe you," Clark sighed. "It's just . . . I still feel as if she is alive."

"Maybe she is," Kara offered.

"No, Lois said . . ." Clark began but Kara cut him off.

"Your friend said something but does that make it fact?" Kara said. "Don't give up hope until you've seen the body, Kal-El. Listen to your heart and it will never lead you astray." Seeing the desperation in his eyes, she squeezed his hand. "You've got to believe, Kal-El."

"I have to go to the morgue," he decided. It would destroy him to see Chloe body, cold and unmoving but until he saw the body, he wouldn't accept her death.

"Do you want me to come?" Kara asked.

"I have to do this on my own," Clark said. "Will you be okay on the farm?"

She nodded. "I'll be fine; you just go." He didn't need to be told twice; with a quick goodbye, he was off, heading toward the morgue. Clark had no idea where this hope was coming from but his heart told him that something was not right.

It was fairly easy to get around the people working there. He found the room where the bodies were held and shivered at the feeling it gave out. Death came out of every nook and cranny. He stared at the many drawers in front of him. Which one had contained Chloe?

Then he heard it; a scream . . . wait, weren't these dead bodies? Dead people didn't scream. He honed his hearing in and followed the sound to one of the drawers. He found the drawer and opened it.

And was met with the hazel eyes of the woman he loved more than anything. "Chloe?"

Yes, it was Chloe and she was alive! Seeing him, she stopped screaming and her eyes were wide with shock.

"Clark," she whispered. "You're really here . . ."

"And you're not dead," he said. In one swift move, he picked her out of the drawer and placed her on the ground.

"You saved me," she said, "I knew you would . . ." The broken pieces of his heart were slowly putting themselves back together. _Thank you God, _he said silently, _thank you for not taking my Chloe away from me. _

"Clark?" she said softly, anxiety etching her features. Without another word, he pulled into his arms and held her close. She was startled at the sudden movement for a second but quickly returned the embrace.

"I was so scared you were dead," he whispered. "That I'd lost you forever . . ."

"I'm right here," she said. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

He just held her closer, breathing in her scent. How can someone smell so good after being dead? But she did . . . a mixture of strawberry and kiwi and something that was just purely Chloe. It comforted him in. She fit in his arms just perfectly.

"Clark?" Chloe asked, "You planning on letting me go?"

_No, _he wanted to say, _I'm never going to let you go. I want to hold you forever. _But he didn't say any of that. He just pulled away, blushing slightly.

"Sorry about that," he said.

She gave him a warm smile. "Don't apologize. You thought I was dead . . . that must be scary." Then a frantic look came on her face. "Clark, Lois . . . is she okay?"

"She's fine," Clark assured her. "You saved her life. We're going to talk about that later, by the way."

She grinned. "I figured we would."

"Come on, let's get out of here," Clark said. "I think we should make a few calls and let everyone know you're still alive."

"Did you drive here?" Chloe wanted to know.

He shook his head. "I have a much better way to get back." They left the building and he took her to a more deserted area. Making sure nobody was around, he held out his hand. "Trust me?"

She took the offered hand. "Always." He pulled her close.

"Hold on tight," he said softly. She gasped when she realized were off the ground.

"Clark?" she said, dazed. "I thought you were afraid of heights."

He gave her a grin. "I got over it." He took great pleasure in watching her expression as they flew back to the farm. It thrilled him to no end that he put that look of wonder on her face and he definitely wouldn't deny that he just enjoyed being close to her.

When they arrived, he made sure no one was around before he landed. Reluctantly, he let her go.

"I'm so glad to be out of that thing," she said.

He didn't say anything; the past hour had been the craziest hour ever. Thinking Chloe was dead and finding out that she wasn't . . . he was so relieved that Kara had encouraged him to go.

_I knew it, _he said silently, _I knew you weren't dead. _

"I should probably call Lois huh?" Chloe said.

"That'd be a good idea," Clark responded. "You can use the phone inside the house." She nodded and headed inside.

_Should I tell her how I feel? _He had almost lost her and he didn't think he could go another day without telling her the truth. But could he really put her through that?

More memories ran through his mind. The time when those cheerleaders were giving their boyfriends that drug to keep them devoted to them . . . it had all gotten solved and Clark had even helped them win the football game. And Chloe had told him that she still had feelings for him. What had he done? Rejected her. He had been such a fool.

He recalled the expression on her face when he told her he had asked Lana to marry him and when he admitted he was still in love with Lana after that crazy dream he had. She had been heartbroken. He hadn't even noticed. But in retrospect, he realized that there was a sadness in her eyes. Never once had she abandoned him though. His heart ached as he wondered how many tears she had shed because of him.

Could he really make her happy? Was there any chance that she still loved him, after everything he'd done? _It would be a miracle . . . a dream. _He didn't deserve her . . . she was too good for him. But he needed her. Now that he recognized this, he wasn't sure if he could live without her. Would he be able to watch her from a distance, be close to her but not actually be with her?

_Fool, what do you think she was forced to do all these years? Just silently watch as you chased after Lana time and time again? This is nothing less than you deserve. Like she'd ever leave a good guy like Jimmy for a jerk like you. Stay away, you'll bring her nothing but misery and pain. _

It was true but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"Kal-El," a singsong voice came from behind him. He turned to see Kara. "You're back."

"Were you okay?" he asked.

"I was fine," she said with a smile. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's perfect," he said, not completely lying. "Chloe's alive."

"That was her right?" Kara asked, "The one you flew in with?" He nodded. "She's very pretty."

"She's gorgeous," he corrected. "And not only on the outside . . . wait till you get to know her, she's so intelligent, and nice and witty . . ."

"Spoken like a man in love," Kara laughed. He flushed at her words. "Doe she know . . . about you?"

"She knows everything," Clark told her. "She's been guarding my secret for years."

"Well, I'm glad she's okay," Kara declared. "I can't wait to meet her."

"She's on the phone with Lois right now," Clark informed her.

"The brunette who came by earlier," Kara said, recognizing the name.

"They're cousins," Clark explained.

"That explains why she was so upset," Kara said. "Well, I'm glad Chloe is fine."

"Me too," he said. He gave his cousin a hug. She returned it. "Thank you," he added softly.

"It's what I'm here for," Kara said. "I missed you so much Kal-El."

"I'm glad you found me," Clark told her. It was going to be nice to have a part of his biological family with him. Someone who understood him, all of him, including all his powers.

They were both silent, enjoying the moment. A voice broke through.

"Clark, you have no idea how hard it was to convince Lois I was alive," Chloe was saying. She froze when she saw him and Kara. "I'm sorry . . . am I interrupting something?"

Clark immediately removed himself from the hug. "No, not at all. Chloe, this is Kara. Kara, Chloe."

"It's so nice to meet you," Kara said, walking toward Chloe. "Kal-El has told me so much about you."

"Kal-El?" Chloe repeated, stunned.

Kara frowned and glanced at him. "I thought you said she knew . . ."

"She does," Clark assured her. "Chloe, Kara is my cousin."

"Wow," Chloe whispered. Something in her eyes changed and he could've sworn he saw relief there but he had no idea why.

"She helped me defeat the Phantom," Clark said slowly.

Chloe's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh, Clark . . . I didn't even remember."

"It's okay," Clark said, "I'm okay . . . the Phantom is gone. Look, why don't we take this conversation inside?" Both women agreed and followed him inside.

Once they were seated around the kitchen table, Clark recapped the most recent events. At the end of his story, he looked at Chloe with a small smile. He hadn't told her about Lana's death yet. Just about the Phantom and how he met Kara.

"That's incredible," Chloe said. "I'm so glad the two of you are okay." Clark swallowed hard at her smile. He didn't want to be the one to wipe that smile off her face. But if there was one person in the entire world he couldn't lie to, it was Chloe.

"Chloe, there is something I didn't tell you," Clark said nervously. She tilted her head in confusion. "It has nothing to do with the Phantom though."

"Clark you know you can tell me anything," Chloe told him.

"This is just . . . hard," Clark said. "Chloe . . . it's Lana." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Lana's dead."

"No," he heard Chloe say. He opened his eyes and forced to look at her. Tears were filling her lovely hazel eyes. Before he said it, he knew it would be a tough revelation. Chloe and Lana had been friends and at one point, they were practically sisters.

"Tell me more," Chloe said urgently.

"She was killed," Clark said.

"Lex," Chloe breathed. "It was him, wasn't it? She was going to leave him . . ."

"He's been arrested," Clark said.

"Like he's going to stay in jail," Chloe muttered, bitterness evident in her tone. "Are we sure Lana is dead?"

"Lionel saw her car explode," Clark said, "And she was in it."

"I can't believe Lana's dead," Chloe whispered. "It's not fair . . . she was so young."

"Are you okay?" Clark asked gently.

Chloe looked incredulous. "_You're _asking _me _if I'm okay? How about you Clark? For losing the love of your life, you're pretty calm."

_I didn't lose the love of my life, _he wanted to say. _You're right here. _

"The love of his life?" Kara repeated.

Chloe turned to Kara. "Yes, Clark was in love with Lana." She smirked. "After forcing the rest of us to deal with their soap opera for many years, they finally got together and went out. Clark's secrets tore them apart and in an effort to "protect her", he broke up with her. She ended up with Lex, Clark's former best friend, and married him when she thought she was pregnant. Turned out the pregnancy was a hoax and she was going to leave Lex. Now she's dead."

"You humans lead complicated lives," Kara said. "But love of his life . . .?" She glanced at Clark. "Kal-El, I thought . . ." But she trailed off when she saw him slightly shaking his head. Chloe didn't catch the move but Kara got the message. "Never mind."

"I'm okay, Chloe," Clark said. "At least for now I am. I think I may be in denial."

Chloe accepted that answer, an answer he constructed just for her. Truth was that it hurt to think of Lana's death, but it was a dull, ache. He missed her as his friend and remembered their time together fondly. But if she was to show up alive right now, he wouldn't want her back. They had their chance and he knew that he stopped being in love with her long before he admitted it to himself.

If he really thought about it, the minute he really started to fall out of love with Lana was when Chloe kissed him. For what felt like the millionth time, he cursed himself for being a cowardly idiot.

"_You don't hesitate to run into a burning building or jump in front of a bullet because nothing can penetrate that iron flesh of yours. But the one time saving Lana means putting your heart on the line, the Man of Steel is nowhere to be found."_

Chloe had him pegged . . . he would give his life to save a stranger but when it came to his heart, he was nowhere near as brave. Clark had felt horrible when he realized she was right. But it wasn't that she was right about him and Lana . . . Chloe didn't know it but she was right about him and her.

"Clark?" Chloe's gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "You still there?"

"Yeah, just thinking," Clark said, giving her a reassuring smile. He would've said more but the sound of an engine caused all three of them to look up.

They saw Lois run out of the car and Chloe beamed when she saw her cousin, standing up too. Chloe ran outside and Clark watched the two cousins embrace.

"They really care about one another," Kara commented, "Don't they?"

Clark looked at her. "Yeah, they do. In a way, in terms of family, they're all each other has."

"What about you Kal-El?" Kara asked, "Are you going to tell Chloe how you feel?"

He glanced at Chloe, who was talking animatedly with Lois and then back at Kara.

"I don't know, Kara, I just . . . don't know."


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry, I know it's been a while since I updated. But here's the newest chapter! Enjoy! As usual, feedback is appreciated. :)

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**Chapter 3**

"How can you not know?" Kara demanded, not satisfied with his answer the least bit.

"It's complicated," Clark said.

"How can it be complicated?" Kara asked, frowning. "You love her, she loves you . . . the two of you should be together."

"She doesn't love me," Clark said, "As a friend, yes, definitely . . . but she doesn't feel the way I do. Maybe once upon at time she did but she's long over those feelings."

"Are you blind?" Kara said incredulously. "Do you not see the way she looks at you? If that is not love, I do not know what love is. Trust me, Kal-El, this woman loves you and not as a friend. She loves you with all her heart. It is right there, in her eyes. It is you that isn't looking."

He was going to protest but that was the moment Chloe and Lois chose to come into the house.

"Hey Smallville," Lois greeted him, her eyes shining. "Seems you saved my cousin."

"I was just lucky," Clark said softly.

"Whatever it is, I'm glad," Lois said. She saw Kara and looked confused. "Hi."

"Lois, this is my cousin, Kara," Clark was quick to introduce them. "Kara, this is Lois Lane, Chloe's cousin."

Kara stood up and stuck out her hand. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Lois replied, taking the offered hand. "So, are you related through Clark on his mother's side or his father's?"

"Father's," Kara answered promptly. Clark couldn't hold back a smile at that.

"Very cool," Lois said. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, Smallville, that I'm stealing my cousin away for a while."

Clark nodded, but he really didn't want Chloe to leave just yet. But he knew Lois needed to spend time with her just as much and in fear of sounding selfish, didn't say anything.

"Bye Clark," Chloe said. "I'll call you soon." With a smile, she headed for the door. Lois waved at him but when she met his eyes, he saw her expression change into that of wonder. A soft smile, much unlike Lois and this time there was sympathy in her gaze. And his heart stopped. _She knew, she could read him like a book and she knew he loved her cousin. _

But she didn't say anything, didn't make a teasing comment or a joke at his expense. She just nodded and left.

"It looks like your secret is out, Kal-El," Kara said. "The cousin . . . Lois, she knows."

"You don't think she'll tell Chloe do you?" Clark asked, fear evident in his tone.

"No, I do not get that malicious vibe from her," Kara assured him. "Everything will be fine, Kal-El, this I promise you."

He gave her a weak smile but he didn't believe it. No, everything would not be fine. He knew this for a fact. Now that he realized his true feelings for Chloe, nothing could ever be fine again.

_He loves her. _Lois was a little gleeful with this information. She glanced at Chloe, chattering away happily, as they both drove back to Lois's apartment. Her heart was going to burst, she was so excited. Sometimes, she just wanted to stop and touch Chloe, just make sure she was really there. Because just a few hours ago, she thought her cousin, her best friend in the entire world, was dead.

And that hurt like hell. She had no idea what had gone down in the Reeves Dam but truth be told, she didn't care. Chloe was alive and Clark had found her. How Smallville always managed to get involved into these situations, she didn't know. But she was grateful he did.

After all, he was destroyed when she told him Chloe was dead. Now she knew why. He was in love with her. She had seen it in his eyes. _It's about time. _

Her cousin had spent years pining over the dumb farm boy . . . it was time that he started noticing her. Because she really, really didn't like Lana. Of course, she was nice enough but that Clark and Lana just didn't seem right to her. Lana was too demanding and she didn't like it that Lana hurt Clark. Because she and Clark fought a lot, and she teased him every chance she got but she truly cared about Clark.

Lana made him unhappy and Chloe would be much better suited for him. They understood each other. And she was positive that whatever secrets Lana was always ranting about, Chloe knew them. Which means that Clark trusted her. More than he trusted Lana anyway. With Lana, she was certain that the love was more of a fantasy on Clark's part. He had this image of her and when they got together, it was broken. Lana was the type of girl who made every guy turn into a mindless idiot.

She gave off the image of being a perfect, innocent princess so all the men she met wanted to be her prince and "rescue" her. Lois knew though that Lana was anything but innocent. What kind of woman dated her ex-boyfriend's ex-best friend? Especially when said best friend was Lex Luthor?

Clark had warned her, probably, several times but she doubted Lana listened. Lois felt rage behalf of Clark, on behalf of Chloe. Lois knew that Lana had come to Chloe, demanding Clark's secrets. What did she think? That Chloe was just going to betray Clark to Lana? How was it fair that Lana could have Chloe keep her secret of being pregnant yet force Chloe to spill Clark's secrets? Lois knew it was probably wrong to hate on a dead woman but there was something about Lana that just didn't sit right with Lois.

Not matter how many times she outwardly praises Lana, inside she was doubting every move that woman made. Sometimes, she wondered if Lana was even dead. She was smart enough to fake her own death. _Well, if she has faked it, she better not come back. _

Lois didn't have very many people in her life and those who she had, she would protect them with her life. Clark and Chloe were too close to her heart and she would never let anything or anyone hurt them. But how was she supposed to protect them from each other?

Nobody could hurt Clark like Chloe, not even Lana and vice versa. The two idiots were in love with one another and they wouldn't do anything about it. Because she knew Clark and there was no way he will confess his feelings anytime soon.

_Guess I have to give him a little nudge then, _Lois thought wickedly. Chloe belonged with Clark. She knew Jimmy was around but Clark was better. Jimmy, though a nice guy, was too clingy, and they just didn't fit.

And her bitterness over his "don't you have a boyfriend" comment when she was searching for the Green Arrow's identity had nothing to do with this. She scowled inwardly. Just because she had a boyfriend, her world wouldn't be centered around him!

_Not the time to think about that, Lane. _Now was the time to plot.

"Lois!" Chloe's voice brought her back to reality. "Are you even listening to me?"

She grinned apologetically, as she parked her car. "No . . . sorry. Got lost in my thoughts."

Chloe smiled warmly. "It's okay, Lo." They stepped out of the car and headed toward their shared apartment. "What were you so deeply thinking about?"

"Just . . . everything that happened today," Lois lied.

Chloe bought the lie, or at least pretended to. "It's been a long day for all of us."

"I'm so glad you are not dead," Lois said, unable to hide the emotion from her voice.

They entered the apartment and Chloe gave Lois a little hug. "Trust me, you're not the only one."

"So Smallville saved you huh?" Lois asked.

"You have no idea how happy I was to see him," Chloe confessed. "I woke up and freaked out . . . I think I am not claustrophobic."

"Smallville always manages to show up at the right time," Lois said.

Chloe's eyes lit up. _Oh yeah, she has it bad. _"Yeah, he really does."

"Chloe, I'm going to ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly," Lois started.

Chloe nodded. "Is everything okay, Lo?"

"Do you love Clark?" she blurted out.

"Of course I love Clark," Chloe responded calmly. "He's my best friend."

"But are you _in love _with Clark?" Lois countered.

Chloe froze. "In . . . in love? Why would you say that?"

"Because you practically glow every time you talk about him," Lois pointed out. "Because you get this look in your eyes when his name is even mentioned."

"Lois, I used to love Clark like that," Chloe said defensively. "But it's been a while since I've felt that way. And I have a _boyfriend _now. Remember Jimmy?"

"Yeah, yeah," Lois said dismissively. "I know you like the guy. But really, Chloe, can you see yourself building a future with him?"

"Jimmy's a great guy," Chloe replied hotly. "He really cares about me, he's sweet, he's funny . . ."

"But he's not Clark," Lois interrupted. "And Clark is the one who has your heart, who will always have your heart."

"It's ridiculous," Chloe said. "Clark and I are only friends . . . I realized that's all we'll be a long time ago. He doesn't love me that way and I've accepted it. So maybe you should get it through your head too." She smiled stiffly. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower."

Lois watched her cousin storm off. "You say that he doesn't love you that way, Chloe," Lois murmured. "But you never said that you never denied loving _him _that way." If they would just both open their eyes, they could be so happy.

Time to be Lois Lane, matchmaker extraordinaire! She frowned . . . but she's not subtle enough. Brashness was her way but in this case, she had to be careful. So she'd need help. Chloe was easier to handle but she needed someone who would be able to get through the dense head of Clark Kent. Only one name came to mind. This was not going to be a fun phone call, she realized. But she was willing to do it for the sake of her cousin and Clark's happiness. Taking a deep breath, she dialed the familiar number and waited as the phone rang.

Someone answered after the third ring. _Damn, I was hoping it would go to the answering machine. _

"Hey," she said as calmly as possible. "It's Lois . . . and I need your help."

_Am I that obvious? _Thoughts were swirling in Chloe's head. The warm water was soothing but it wasn't enough. Lois's words were on constant replay. She asked her about Clark so suddenly . . . where had she been going with that question?

_Oh, God, is my worst fear coming true after all? _The chemistry between Lois and Clark could be seen for miles. And Lois had been gushing after she kissed "Green Arrow", who was really Clark in disguise, covering for Oliver.

She remembered them waltzing into Lex and Lana's engagement party together. Even she had to admit, they looked good together. Chloe had been telling Lois for years that Clark was something special. What if she finally took notice?

What if this was her way of finding out if Chloe still had feelings for Clark to see whether she could pursue him? _No, Lois wouldn't do that. _But if Lois really liked Clark and if Clark had feelings for her too, would she really stand in the way?

No, she wouldn't . . . she couldn't get in the way of her best friend's happiness. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell. _Oh, God, why? Why do I still love him? Why can't I just get over him? _

Clark Kent was not someone you just "got over". Lana left him, dated Lex and even married him . . . but even as she died, her heart remained with Clark. Everyone knew how she felt- Jimmy, Lois, Lana and hell, even Clark. Proven by the way he acted under the red kryptonite. Tears filled her eyes as she recalled the way he taunted her as Kal.

The red kryptonite did not change Clark's personality, in fact, it removed his inhibitions so he was more Clark than ever. And his true self apparently thought very little of her.

"_And I can't say that I haven't thought about it." _ Her heart had literally stopped when he said that to her. Did that mean a part of him still wanted her? And how pathetic was she that she was clinging on to little things like that? But it was Lana he had walked away with. She was always second place . . . first to Lana and now possibly to her own cousin.

Jimmy had broken up with right after that incident and she didn't blame him. Sure, they had gotten back together. But it wasn't the same. They both knew who she really loved.

Clark. Would she ever love another man the way she loved Clark? When he was gone, it was like a part of her soul was missing too. But alas, it was not meant to be. Clark would always go for girls like Lois and Lana . . . never her. She was always the best friend, the almost sister. She choked a sob and slumped in the shower. Never her. Clark was the prince of this story but she wouldn't be the princess, wouldn't get her happy ending.

_I love you so damn much, Clark Kent. Why can't you love me too? _

Lois was a jumble of nerves. She had changed her outfit twice. Finally, she settled on a simple yellow v-necked shirt and a pair of jeans. Leaving a note for Chloe but purposely vague about her destination, she headed out.

She drove at speed limit just to prolong the amount of time that it would take to get there. But she finally reached where she wanted to be.

The elevator ride was too quick and as she opened the door, she pulled up a cool expression, making sure she didn't betray the nervousness she felt inside.

Warm brown eyes greeted her as she stepped into the very familiar area. He was as gorgeous as the first time she laid eyes on him. Wearing a plain white suit, he managed to make her heart skip a beat, even when they hadn't seen one another for approximately 8 months. Not that she was counting.

"Hello Lois," he said calmly, a smirk playing at his lips.

"Oliver," she replied coolly, greeting the man that she once had been willing to give her heart to. "Long time no see."


End file.
